squee.  

---sometimes i forget how weak i really am--- when i hide for so long in translucent strength--

Needless to say, TONIGHT was amazing. This night made possible by the insistance of my friend Rachel, who last thursday went n signed me up for this weeks Open Mic night. Rachel is too awesome for words. I don't think my singing would get anywhere without her pushin for it & appreciating it. Her & Cait, actually. Well, okay first off earlier in the day.. uhm.. i was kinda urkin because the girls forgot to pick me up to go to dinner.. so when they came back, i was just like.. *shrug* Oh well. Wtf, i'll just eat whatever. No biggie. Uhm, thenn.. I went and played at Open Mic Night at Ross Commons (this little place at campus)!! So exciting. Of course, I was nervous to the bone. I couldn't even laugh or speak properly. I kept trying to tune my guitar because i knew the strings were still tight n would untune because they were new. So when i got up there, I sang three songs, " Falling for you", "Wired", and "Blaming time". The first two songs went well but Blaming Time went out of tune because my bass E string decided to go haywire. Overall, I was satisfied with my performance although I really wished that the last song was perfect because I had written it for a friend & i just wanted it to sound good LIVE. I have all my friends to thank for their support tonight, who all made me so undescribably happy. It's quite amazing to realize how a few genuine people can touch a life, in this case mine. Well before I get any mushier, let me just say that they deserve all the kudos and props in the world, they really do.

TOMORROW, i am so pumped for one of my best friends Annemarie to come overrrr to Drexel. I am so excited to see her because I haven't seen her in so long & i've missed her like a mo'fo'. I need to get some good ol' Mount freakn' fun up in here.. just the Mount vibe is something that i've missed so much. Well, Annemarie's visit should conjure up some crazy crops of chaos. har har. alright im cheesy and it's 2:20 am. so goodnight all..

In silent complacency, I sat with my back against the sun. Warmth of the kind that touches souls crept into mine. It was a sunny afternoon, so bright, I figured sitting wasn't such a bad idea. Often I look around, visiting places behind people's eyes and imagining what it's like to wear stillettos all the time or have no other shirts but a turtleneck no matter what the weather. My goal in life is just to BE. prominent enough, so as not to be forgotten. invisible enough to be anonymous when I want. People say i'm immature because I like to laugh, even on the inside by myself as i sit between Stratton and Main. I can't say much about that, this is who I have chosen to be. When I visit those places, places i only imagine through other minds, I notice I'm going 150 mph each time. Flying through memories, dodging brick wall, or running through them.. forgetting that i broke a few bones in the process. Who cares, im still running.